"Another Sunrise, Another New Beginning."
Jonathan Lockwood
Huie
Tomorrow is
my move out day. I am lying on the bed with Papi's head on my knees, he looks a
bit sad as if he know that everything is about to change for us. I have laptop
in my lap and tasteless oatmeal are cooling off on my nightstand, I ran out of
sugar and who buys brand new pack of sugar a day before moving out of the
apartment. In the background there is an old episode of Sex & the City on
TV, the one where Carrie is breaking up with Aidane because she is not ready to
get married.
I didn't
have a feeling of moving out until I started taking of the pictures of the
walls, looking at the empty walls made me realize that I am actually leaving
this place. Without my New York street art photos and my friends and boyfriend
photos this place turned from being a home to just some apartment I am moving
out of.
For the
last couple of days my friends have been calling me to make sure we still see
each other at least for a coffee before I leave, they were asking me mostly the
same couple of question in regards to my move to a new country: “How did I
decide to take such a big step?”, “Am I scared?” and “How do I
feel about it?”
In order to
please their sincere curiosity and excitement of my girls I tried to tell them about
as many technical details of my move while I was at the same time repeating
their questions in my head, unsure myself of what to respond. The only word
that was coming to my mind was – ready. I feel ready.
I am really
not worried about not being able to adapt and function in a new environment, I
feel like I graduated with various survival techniques while I was studying,
working and living in NYC where nobody really cares to much about how you
feel....so...“since I made it here I can make it anywhere.“
Do you know
that feeling when after a long night of clubbing in high heels and tight dress somewhere
around 4-5 am in the morning you step into a cab or car and you take of these
shoes and wiggle your toes a bit, what a great feeling right? But once the car
stops you need to put those same shoes back on to walk up to the apartment and
now they are to tight for your swollen feet and then it hurts, it hurts a whole
lot.
This is how
I feel now, I feel like it's time for me to move on, it was fun, but these
shoes have become to tight. It's now time for me to get a new pair, maybe with
higher thinner heel. I am sure that at the very beginning they might hurt a
bit, I may have to learn to balance in them, but I am sure that soon, I will
learn how to run in my new heels.
"Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is
no path and leave a trail."
Ralph Waldo Emerson
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