Just to make it clear, I don't consider myself a feminist. One of my missions in life is to help other young women who have ambition and drive to fulfill their dreams with my advice and support if they need it. I would like to help make the society a better place for my child one day (no matter if it's a girl or a boy) to have an equal starting point in life in no matter what they dream of becoming.
There is a saying in Croatia for when you are expecting a baby which saids "Dear God, just let the baby he healthy and born with a penis." In it's core Croatian culture traditionally values men over women. In media when there is an article about a man adjectives used if article is positive will be: successful, accomplished, talented.
When there is an article about a women (no matter the job position she does) it will most often be about her looks: she lost weight, showed her boob, no panties, got married for a politician, business man or athlete.
To support my claim above, here are some stats for Croatia (source: LeanIn Croatia):
Only 15% of women in Croatia own a real-estate property
Women in Croatia earn 10.6% less on the same roles as men
More women in Croatia generally have higher education then men but are paid less
Research show that 36% of men and only 18% women are targeting promotion
Lot's of things have changed and are still changing for the better but the gender inequality still remains highly noticeable in daily life. During job interviews it's not uncommon (although it's illegal) to get questions like "Are you married?"and "Do you plan to have kids?" which if answered with "Yes" often automatically disqualify the potential female employee for the position.
When I came back from studying and working in US to Croatia, straight from the airport I went to three job interviews. On two out of three I was asked if I am married or in a serious relationship and if I plan to have kids in next couple of years or not. Talking about a culture shock right there and then at the spot.
On the more positive note, Croatia as an ex-socialist country (from when it was part of Yugoslavia) still has a strong social care system where health care is available for all and where women are staying home with new born babies much longer then in Western European countries (although on minimum pay) and family (as long as it's considered as a man and women community) is well protected and valued by laws and society as a whole.
WOMEN IS HER OWN WORST ENEMY BUT SHOULD BE A BEST FRIEND.
There is so many reasons why something might not work for you in life, but even more why it could. Having a positive outlook on life, being persistent and being your own biggest fan and a cheerleader is important trait to have to succeed both in business and to be happy in personal life.
Going from security and safety of your parents house (which in Croatia lasts until end of college years) and then getting married right away and entering the safety of your husbands care is not how you take responsibility over your own life. From how I'm looking at it. It's like being a bird in a cage who just changes cages but never learns how to fly. It's not fair to your husband and it's not fair to you. What are the chances you will know how to learn your kids how to fly and sore higher?
I had some major doubts when I left the safety of working in large global corporation P&G where I spent some years to build a place for myself and venturing into a new personal and business adventure.
I made a hard and emotional decision after preparing financially and emotionally for a full year and then I moved to Barcelona to give a better chance of my relationship to work but also to get closer to working in a fashion industry which was my goal all along so I could put more time into blogging professionally, freelancing and working on my fashion startup.
"Doubt kills more dreams then failure ever will."
Suzy Kassem
I became a business co-owner in a startup called Trendcy.com and my 10 hour corporate work days turned into 12-14 hour ones. A new business is like a new baby, it keeps you up at night (work days and weekends). On top, I started to live with a man for the first time, not just any man. With a professional athlete to whom I cook three full meals a day, we together take care of our apartment and we both #LeanIn to make it work every single day. There is no men's or women's jobs in our home, we both do it all.
"When it comes time to settle down, find someone who wants an equal partner.
Someone who thinks women should be smart, opinionated, and ambitious.
Someone who values fairness and expects or, even better, wants to do his share in the home.
These men exist and, trust me, over time, nothing is sexier."
Sheryl Sandberg
The challenges I face today for me are much different then what they were before. Today I earn sometimes more and sometimes less then when I had safe corporate job.But now I am working for myself, I do what I love the most, I blog and do freelance writing on top of my startup business to supplement my income.
I share living expenses with my boyfriend and my challenge today with some of my clients who know the amount of money my boyfriend makes is to have them pay me on time for work I've done as I guess they think I am taking money from my boyfriend so paying me on time is not as important or some even try to ask me to work and write articles for free.
MENTORING vs. JEALOUSY.
Look at HER, it's easy for her to be successful SHE.....
....... comes from a rich family.
....... went to a good school.
...... she is pretty and skinny.
.... she lives in a bigger city.
..... she has a rich boyfriend.
When we feel jealous of someone it's most often because they have something we want. Instead of building up negativity which makes us a bitter and negative person and it's not productive at all, why don't we actually act and ask the women we admire for an advise or mentorship to make ourselves more productive and successful.
Sharing is caring. No person is an island. At some point, somebody extended their hand to help us climb up so our responsibility is to make this world a better place for ourselves and our kids to grow in and to extend our hand to other young women.
I am happy to mentor a few ladies I met through my blog and to try to help them by sharing my personal experiences or just be there to keep their hand through rough times. I encourage all of you ladies to grab the hands of those women you admire and extend yours to young girls looking up to you.
"We need to live in the world where men do half, women let them do half and being a parent is not a full time job for a women and a half time job for a man."
Sheryl Sandberg
This post was inspired bySheryl Sandberg book and movement #LeanInTogether.I am very happy to see the movement spreading around the world and creating positive and productive networks of women ready to help each other succeed!
I highly recommend all girls and women to read the book. Get inspired, aim high, stay positive and never, ever give up on their dreams! You can do it all!
Did you read Sheryl's book? How do you feel about your rights as a women?
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